The Family: A Proclamation to the World Insights and Teaching Activities

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INSIGHTS

For this week’s lesson, we’ll be taking a look at the document entitled “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”. This is not an official canonized part of the Doctrine and Covenants, but you know what, I think it should be. And I keep waiting and wondering if that’s going to happen someday. I wouldn’t be surprised if it does eventually become section 139, or Official Declaration #3 or something.  In my opinion, it certainly deserves to be enshrined in the halls of scripture. The proclamation was issued by leaders of the Church back in 1995. And to me, it stands as an excellent example of prophets acting as watchmen on the tower. That’s what the prophet Ezekiel compared prophets to in the Old Testament and we saw Joseph Smith draw on that same symbolism in Doctrine and Covenants 101. How are the prophets like watchmen?  They are in a position where they are able see approaching dangers that the rest of us can’t always see. In ancient times, if you wanted to better protect your city, you might build a high watchtower and place a trusted individual inside it to watch and warn of coming dangers—to look out for the enemy. Now if you were a soldier down on the ground, and the guard on the watchtower started shouting that the enemy was coming, what would happen if you said to yourself, “Well I don’t see anything out there. What’s he so worried about? I can’t for the life of me see what the problem is.” If you reacted to his warnings in that way, chances are you would be among the first slain in the upcoming attack. On the other hand, if you trusted the watchman and you were willing to heed his warnings, you would be prepared for the attack and stand a much better chance of survival. Well that’s a lot like heeding the words of the living prophets. They can see coming spiritual dangers far before the rest of us can. That’s one of the reasons they’re called seers. They can see what we can’t. So if it ever seems like the prophets are not with the times, it’s probably because they aren’t. But it’s because they’re ahead of their time, not behind it.  The family proclamation, I feel, is a good example of this phenomenon. Back in 1995, the issues that are addressed by the proclamation certainlh existed but hadn’t arrived at the alarming level they’ve reached now. I believe the brethren were inspired to issue this solemn declaration of our family values in advance of those coming challenges to help us stand firm in the ever-shifting winds or popular opinion.

I love how this is a proclamation to the world. This is not a document that is just for members of the Church, but for the whole world. This is a great example of prophets acting AS prophets. Russell M. Nelson is not just the president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but he is the prophet to the world. They have solemn responsibility to warn everyone of coming dangers.

ICEBREAKER

So for an icebreaker, I like to get my students thinking about the current state of the family in our world by sharing some statistics related to the issues addressed by the proclamation. See if they can guess the correct statistic. I found these studies in a number of different places online, but I always provide a reference for them.  Note that all of these statistics apply to the United States, so for my listeners in other countries, I invite you to do some research of your own that applies to the nation that you live in. But let’s see how you do on this.

1.     ___ % of people believe that it is acceptable for an unmarried couple to live together in a sexual relationship.

A.    11 %

B.    58 %

C.     86 %

(https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/11/06/marriage-and-cohabitation-in-the-u-s/)

2.     ___ % of all births in the United States were to women who were not married.

A.    22 %

B.    41 %

C.     72 %

(See Joyce A. Martin and others, “Births:  Final Data for 2010,” National Vital Statistics Reports, vol. 61, no 1 (Aug. 2012), 10–11.)

3.     ____% of non-parents ages 18-49 say they are unlikely to have children someday.

A.    9 %

B.    23 %

C.     44 %

(https://www.pewresearch.org/topic/family-relationships/)

4.     There are currently around ______________ divorces each year in the United States.

A.    325,000

B.    750,000

C.     1,010,000

(https://legaljobs.io/blog/divorce-rate-in-america/)

5.     ___ % admit to having committed adultery during their marriage.

A.    16%

B.    25%

C.     57%

(https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america)

6.     ___ % of Americans support gay marriage.

A.    52%

B.    70%

C.     90%

(https://news.gallup.com/poll/350486/record-high-support-same-sex-marriage.aspx)

7.     1 in ___ women have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

A.    4

B.    8

C.     20

(https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_report2010-a.pdf)

8.     ___ % of pregnancies end in abortion.

A.    3%

B.    11%

C.     18%

(https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/induced-abortion-united-states?gclid=Cj0KCQiAnaeNBhCUARIsABEee8VutfA4YM7yXLuJ6KgQ1pjiQ5BoTyDUH3H5zdLvf6sK7qVL7hbqwtcaAisvEALw_wcB)

Well, it’s plain to see that the adversary is doing an amazing job at attacking family values here in the last days. Many of those are very troubling statistics. Now it’s not all doom and gloom either and statistics don’t always tell the whole story. There are a lot of factors that can be manipulated so you always have to take statistics with a grain of salt. But overall, it does paint a grim picture about the state of the family in our world today. Values towards marriage, children, abortion, infidelity, and cohabitation have changed drastically in the past 50 years and in my mind, not for the better.

President M. Russell Ballard once said the following:

“Let me say again that the family is the main target of evil’s attack and must therefore be the main point of our protection and defense. As I said once before, when you stop and think about it from a diabolically tactical point of view, fighting the family makes sense to Satan. When he wants to disrupt the work of the Lord, he doesn’t poison the worlds peanut butter supply, thus bringing the Church’s missionary system to its collective knees. He doesn’t send a plague of laryngitis to afflict the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. He doesn’t legislate against green Jell-O and casseroles. When evil wants to strike out and disrupt the essence of Gods work, it attacks the family. It does so by attempting to disregard the law of chastity, to confuse gender, to desensitize violence, to make crude and blasphemous language the norm, and to make immoral and deviant behavior seem like the rule rather than the exception.”

Elder M. Russell Ballard, Let Our Voices Be Heard, Ensign (CR), November 2003, p.16

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we stand for the family and family values. The proclamation on the family helps us to know what those values are and what we can do to find happiness and fulfilment in family life.

NOTE: Before we go any further, we need to keep something in mind. I always make sure that I mention this to the classes before I teach this lesson. I understand that not everybody comes from an ideal family situation. The idea that families can be together forever may actually not be a super comforting thought for everyone in our classes. What if they come from an extremely toxic family situation? What if a child’s parents have been abusive or neglectful? What if their home is only a place of contention, cruelty, or manipulation? My heart goes out to those individuals. I can promise them that this is not the family life that their Father in Heaven intended for them or for any of his children. Sadly, the agency of man makes it possible for these situations to exist. Now, I’m not talking about the average challenges and imperfections that all families face. Nobody has a “perfect” family even if they may appear so on the outside. There is no such thing as perfect parents or perfect children. Hopefully we can all be forgiving and understanding of the weaknesses and shortcomings of the members of our families. What I regret is those family situations that have become truly toxic and damaging to the health and spirit of the individual. I always make sure to tell my classes that if they are truly in an abusive situation, that they should tell someone—that they should talk to a trusted individual to assure that that abuse will stop. If their family problems are not as serious as that, but are still less-than-ideal, remind them that as you talk about family, to think about THEIR future family and THEIR future marriage. That is something they do have control over. We don’t have to perpetuate unhealthy attitudes and behaviors in the family and pass them on to the next generation. We can be the change we want to see in our own future family.

SEARCH-CROSSWORD PUZZLE

Now, to get into the content of the proclamation, I’d like to provide you with a number of different activities that could help your students understand the major teachings of the family proclamation.  One thing you could have them do is this crossword puzzle. It picks out some of the major ideas of the proclamation and can help your students get more familiar with the principles it teaches.

So let me go ahead and walk you through the answers here.

ACROSS1. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as ________ partners. EQUAL5. Children are _____________ to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. ENTITLED8. the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully _____________ as husband and wife. WEDDED9. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be _______________ beyond the grave. PERPETUATED10. The __________ is ordained of God. FAMILY11. Marriage between a man and a woman is _______________ of God. ORDAINED12. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to ____________ and replenish the earth remains in force. MULTIPLYDOWN2. We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand _______________ before God. ACCOUNTABLE3. We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the _______________ unit of society. FUNDAMENTAL4. ______________ is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose. GENDER6. Husband and wife have a solemn _______________ to love and care for each other and for their children.  RESPONSIBILITY7. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the ______________ of the Lord Jesus Christ. TEACHINGS

So that activity can be a good introduction to some of the principles of the proclamation.

SEARCH-STANDING STRONG

Now for a bit of history behind the proclamation. President Gordon B. Hinckley first introduced it at the General Relief Society meeting in September of 1995. Just before presenting the contents of the proclamation he gave a talk entitled “Standing Strong against the Wiles of the World”. And in that talk, he said the following:

“With so much of sophistry that is passed off as truth, with so much of deception concerning standards and values, with so much of allurement and enticement to take on the slow stain of the world, we have felt to warn and forewarn. In furtherance of this we of the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles now issue a proclamation to the Church and to the world as a declaration and reaffirmation of standards, doctrines, and practices relative to the family which the prophets, seers, and revelators of this church have repeatedly stated throughout its history” (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 100).

So one of the driving concerns behind the proclamation was the prophets perception that the slow stain of the world’s deception was creeping more and more prevalently into society.  They were concerned that that slow stain might start to appear on the consciousness of the members of the church. He refers to these deceptions as the wiles of the world. Wiles is another word for lies. The proclamation helps us to stand strong against those wiles.  So here’s an activity that can help you to identify the doctrines that will allow us to stand strong. 

As a teacher, you divide your class into teams and tell them that you are going to put a Wile of the World up on the screen. Their job is to find a “Standing Strong” phrase from the proclamation that defeats or counteracts that Wile and then raise their hand when they find it. The team that correctly identifies a countering phrase first wins the point. The team with the most points at the end wins. So here we go:

WILES OF THE WORLD

Marriage and family relationships are only a part of this life. When we die, they end.

STANDING STRONG

3-The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

WILES OF THE WORLD

If two people really love each other, if it’s true love, then sex before marriage is OK. It will strengthen their love.

STANDING STRONG

4-We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

WILES OF THE WORLD

Children are too much responsibility. Put off having children until later in life or not at all.

STANDING STRONG

4-We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.

6-Children are an heritage of the Lord.

WILES OF THE WORLD

A man is in charge of his household and his wife and children should bow to his authority.  He makes all the decisions for the family.

STANDING STRONG

7-In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.

WILES OF THE WORLD

Regardless of our genetic identity, gender is a matter of personal choice.

STANDING STRONG

2-Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

WILES OF THE WORLD

Violence and abuse is an acceptable way to handle family problems and frustrations.

STANDING STRONG

8-We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God.

WILES OF THE WORLD

Parenting is difficult.  It’s more important to focus on career, hobbies, and personal wants and let the school system, the church, and the media raise our children.

STANDING STRONG

6-Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

WILES OF THE WORLD

I’ll just live with my partner until we know for sure that we’re compatible. Maybe we’ll even have a few children. If things get rough, we can always part ways.

STANDING STRONG

7-Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.

WILES OF THE WORLD

If you want a happy family, the best source for help is daytime television, parenting magazines, self-help books, and suggestions from social media.

STANDING STRONG

7-Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

WILES OF THE WORLD

It is ok for any two people to get married regardless of gender. Same-sex marriage is acceptable.

TRUTH

1-Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God

4-We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.8-Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan.

WILES OF THE WORLD

If you encounter challenges in your marriage, infidelity is acceptable.

STANDING STRONG

4-We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

7-Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.

8-We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God.

Now I believe that that activity can help give your students a good understanding of the difference between what we believe as members of the church and what much of the world believes.

LIKEN THE SCRIPTURES

But, as you go through these questions, your class is likely to have questions or concerns about these issues that they are going to want to discuss. Be prepared to talk about them. I’ll readily admit that some of these issues are highly charged and the church’s position on them is not necessarily “politically correct”. But you don’t need to shy away from teaching or supporting them. I promise that you are on safe ground when you teach the words of the prophets. Still we need to be careful not to spread our own opinions and ideas either. On the other hand, we would do well to be charitable, understanding, and sensitive when addressing these issues.  For example, your class may have questions about or personal experience with same sex attraction, gay marriage, abortion, abuse, transgenderism, divorce, or adultery. They may be wrestling with the church’s position on these issues because a family member, a child, or a close friend has directly been affected by one of those things. They love and care about those people. I’ve found that LGBTQ matters are of particular concern to the rising generation. So be sensitive. Be unabashedly supportive of the prophets, but openly sympathetic to those who are still grappling with the implications of these principles. Make sure they know that it’s ok to have questions, and doubts and wrestles of faith. For some, it’s going to take some time and prayer to gain their own personal conviction of these teachings. But something you can do as a teacher, then, is help them to understand why we believe what we do when it comes to these matters.

President Oaks gives us some guidance on answering those questions. He said:

How should our youth respond when their associates and even their classroom teachers conclude that marriage is not important anymore, and that children suffer no disadvantage if their parents are not married?  Similarly, how should they respond to the familiar proposals to redefine the family?

I suggest that it may be preferable for our young people to refrain from arguing with their associates about such assertions or proposals.  They will often be better off to respond by identifying the worldly premises or assumptions in the assertions they face, and then by identifying the different assumptions or premises that guide the thinking of Latter-day Saints.  This won’t elicit agreement from persons who don’t share our faith, but it can move the discussion away from arguing over conclusions to identifying the real source of disagreement.

(CES Evening with a General Authority devotional, February 8, 2013)

That’s the kind of experience we want to provide in a classroom setting. We don’t want a discussion to devolve into an argument of differing opinions. We’re not trying to prove anything or anybody else wrong. We just want to help them understand why the church teaches what it does. And what it really all comes down to is the plan of salvation. The reason we see things so differently than the rest of the world is because of the perspective the plan of salvation gives us. We don’t only consider mortality when it comes to our doctrine. We also consider our premortal and post mortal existence. And that changes everything. I’ll readily admit that if all you believe in is earth life—if you don’t believe in a premortal existence—if you don’t believe that there is an afterlife or a divine eternal purpose, then I can understand why the world sees things the way they do. If this life, is it, then gay marriage, transgenderism, not getting married, not having children, even adultery takes on a whole new light. If when you die, you just die and that’s it, then you are going to have a very different opinion about each of those issues.

But as members of the Church of Jesus Christ, we believe there is more to our existence than just this mortal life. We believe in a plan, and marriage, children, and family are a huge part of that plan. We also believe in a purpose. That purpose is to become like our heavenly parents—to obtain the kind of existence they enjoy. The actions and decisions we make here on this earth, prepare us for that future.

So take gay marriage for example. Why does the church oppose it? Because it doesn’t fit with the purpose and the plan. It’s not out of a spirit of intolerance, or hate, or some rigid adherence to old fashioned or traditional values. It just doesn’t fit the plan. Now if this life is all we’re considering. If this is all there is, then I can see why it makes sense to support gay marriage. Let people love each other and live however they want. But, if our heavenly parents overall design is for us is to become like them, then we can’t endorse it.  The scriptures are clear. The fundamental unit of eternity is husband and wife. There is a powerful and complimentary balance between male and female. As God said to Adam and Eve in Genesis 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”  And together they are able to perpetuate human life and provide bodies for God’s other spirit children. That is the nature of this world. Two men will never create a child, and neither will two women. Of course, the church recognizes the reality of same-sex attraction. We support, and love, and seek to help those individuals all we can, and they are able to enjoy all the blessings of discipleship in Christ’s church. And even those who are openly living a homosexual lifestyle deserve our love and respect and friendship and civility. But we can’t condone gay marriage because of its contrary nature to the plan of salvation and God’s eternal purposes for his children. We, as a church are not anti-same-sex attraction, or anti-homosexual. But we are pro-plan of salvation.

The same thing with transgenderism. We believe in a pre-mortal existence—that we were created as male and female before we ever came to this earth.  And that “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”  The gender we have in this life follows after the nature of the spirit we were created with in the premortal world. Again, just as with same-sex attraction. The church recognizes the reality of these feelings within individuals, and it is not a sin to have them. God loves and values those that have those feelings. But the church does not approve of elective surgical procedures or social transitioning to a new gender. We feel that to do so would be a contradiction of eternal identity and purpose.  Taking those steps does prompt church action. Again, those that have these feelings deserve our respect and friendship and love. And in the church, our policy is that those who feel this way can hold callings, attend the temple, and are considered as worthy as anyone else.

Another issue. A casual attitude toward sex is also anti-plan of salvation. Entering sexual relationships with others without the commitment of marriage is contradictory to the plan of salvation and our purpose here on earth as God’s children. Sex is not a bad word to disciples of Christ. We know that God created sex for his purposes. “We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed.”  So it has a divine purpose. What’s its purpose? The prophets have taught that there are two. To create children and to bring husbands and wives closer together. And can you see, both of those purposes are strongly interconnected with the creation and maintenance of strong and effective families. Isn’t it amazing that God has entrusted us with the power of creation? At least a measure of it. We don’t create spirits, but we create mortal bodies for His spirits, and then he endows parents with the profound privilege and responsibility to raise those spirits in love and righteousness. The worth of souls is great in the sight of God. So to casualize the power to create life is a serious matter indeed. Is it any wonder that those two purposes are so connected with family? Satan has done an incredible job of warping the world’s perception of sex and has done his darndest to separate it from its connection with family. Sex has become more about the individual than the family. When we disconnect the sacred power of procreation from family, Satan wins. Many devastating problems come from that disconnect. Teen pregnancies, abortion, fatherless or motherless homes, adultery, casual attitudes towards divorce, and rampant pornography use are all consequences of this type of thinking. I also believe that those relationships that are based on selfish sexual motives don’t seem to last.

There’s no doubt that a casual attitude towards sex and a dismissal of marriage is bad for children’s health and society as a whole. According to research, cohabitation is bad for children. If you do a google search on the topic, you’ll see all kinds of research that supports this finding. Marriage is better for children and husbands and wives.  (http://marripedia.org/effects_of_cohabitation_on_children)

Now just because we get married doesn’t mean that Satan gives up on trying to mess up families. Just making it to the altar of the temple doesn’t guarantee happiness in family life either. I do believe, though, that it provides the best conditions from which to grow a happy family. Just like planting a seed in fertile soil doesn’t guarantee that you are going to eventually end up with a sturdy, healthy tree. There are certain things you have to do consistently over time for that result. But that seed has a far better chance of growing than one that isn’t planted in fertile soil to begin with. Satan doesn’t give up on people after they’re married. In fact, perhaps his efforts intensify. That’s where the rest of the principles of the proclamation on the family come into play. Paragraphs 6-8 teach us the principles of creating strong marriages and families. If married couples ignore or violate these principles, Satan can also win. So, once people are married, if couples cease to love and care for each other, if they neglect their children, if they don’t honor their marital vows with complete fidelity, if they don’t build their homes upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ, if they don’t maintain their households on the principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work and wholesome recreational activities, if fathers cease to provide and protect, and mothers to nurture,  if husbands and wives don’t treat each other as equal partners, if they violate covenants of chastity, or abuse spouse or offspring, their families can also fail. I don’t believe there is any marriage or family out there that is going to break down if they strive to live these principles and heed the warnings that we find here.

I know these are sensitive topics, and not all families fit the same mold. I think that’s why you have these words at the end of paragraph seven. “Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation”. So what I’ve discussed so far may not fit everybody’s circumstances. It would be impossible for us to cover every possible exception or situation that might require individual adaptation of these principles. We could spend hours discussing things like individuals that are not married through no fault of their own, marriages where divorce really is the proper course of action, families where mothers do more of the providing and fathers the nurturing, foster care, widows and widowers, couples that can’t have children, and so on. I trust that we can be wise in considering those situations that may necessitate individual adaptation. Don’t throw out all the good of the proclamation because it fails to address all possible scenarios or adaptations. There is a quote in the Come follow me manual from Elder D. Todd Christofferson concerning this that I believe is worth sharing. He said:

“To declare the fundamental truths relative to marriage and family is not to overlook or diminish the sacrifices and successes of those for whom the ideal is not a present reality. … Everyone has gifts; everyone has talents; everyone can contribute to the unfolding of the divine plan in each generation. Much that is good, much that is essential—even sometimes all that is necessary for now—can be achieved in less-than-ideal circumstances. … With confidence we testify that the Atonement of Jesus Christ has anticipated and, in the end, will compensate all deprivation and loss for those who turn to Him. No one is predestined to receive less than all that the Father has for His children” (“Why Marriage, Why Family,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2015, 52).

THE BRIGHT SIDE

Now, there’s something else I believe we should keep in mind as we teach the proclamation. If all we focus on as we teach proclamation are the more controversial issues or all the possible negative circumstances that people face in marriage and family, then our students might walk with away with a more discouraged or bleak view of family life.  Please don’t let that be the feeling you allow your students to leave with. I believe that the overall gist or spirit of the proclamation is one of happiness and optimism. That’s the essence of the document that shines behind every word and phrase and paragraph. The proclamation represents God’s blueprint for a happy and positive life experience for all his children here on earth. And that’s how I want to conclude our study of the family proclamation.

To help students see the bright side of things, you can have them fill out the following study questions on their own. As they study, be sure to instruct them to read the questions first, then read the assigned section from the proclamation. You want them reading the proclamation with the questions already in mind, rather than vice versa.

Read paragraphs 1-3 and answer the following question:

Which of the following doctrines from the proclamation brings you the most joy and comfort? Why?

I am a beloved son or daughter of heavenly parents.

My gender is an essential characteristic of my eternal identity and purpose.

The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave

My thoughts on these doctrines:

I am a beloved son or daughter of heavenly parents.

Knowing that we are a part of heavenly family lifts and exalts every human soul. “I am a Child of God” is a message that all need to hear and know and gain a conviction of. It’s actually the first hymn the church translates into a new language. This truth can be of particular comfort to those individuals who come to this earth in less-than-ideal family circumstances. Your earthly family may be a mess, but all of us can know that we are loved and cherished and valued by our heavenly parents. We are all a part of this heavenly family.

My gender is an essential characteristic of my eternal identity and purpose.

We want women to be grateful that they are women, and men grateful to be men. I think the adversary has made efforts over the centuries to make women feel like they are less important, less powerful, or have less potential than their male counterparts. This is false and much has been done in recent years to remedy that which I think is positive and uplifting. However, the adversary always wants to swing us to the extremes. In our empowering of women, we must be careful not to denigrate masculinity or belittle traditional feminine virtues. As I said earlier, men and women are different, and I don’t think we have to make both genders “the same”. We want little girls to be grateful that they are girls and encourage those strengths and qualities that they naturally bring with them into this world. We want them to celebrate the things that only they can do, while at the same time giving them equal access to the opportunities that will allow them to live up to their potential. We also want little boys to be grateful that they are boys and encourage those strengths and qualities that they naturally bring with them into this world. We want to communicate a positive female identity and a positive male identity to the rising generation. Identities marked by respect and equality and understanding between the sexes. One that allows us to be different, and have different roles, and different strengths.

The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave

Another beautiful truth is to know that our relationships can continue into the next life. Marriage can be eternal. I want to spend eternity with my wife, not just a few decades on this planet. Isn’t it glorious to think that husband to wife and parent to child relationships can continue to be nurtured and enjoyed even after we die? I don’t want those special bonds to go away. Research has also found that it is strong family relationships that are the greatest predictors of happiness in people. More than money, fame, social class, IQ, or even health. (https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/) God created us as creatures that thrive on sociality or connectedness with others. I’m very grateful to know that that sociality doesn’t end with death. For faithful members of Christ’s church, it’s not “till death do you part”, but “for time and for all eternity”.

Question #2

Read paragraphs 4-5 with the following question in mind.

How does a proper understanding of the purpose of sexual relationships bless us as disciples of Christ?

This is another understanding that we can be grateful for as members of Christ’s church. Because we understand the sacred purposes of sex, our relationships can be better. We come to know what it means and feels like to “LOVE” somebody by tapping into the power and purpose that the long-term commitment of an eternal marriage gives to us. We won’t make the damaging mistake of separating sex from the purpose of the creation of loving families—husbands and wives, parents, and children.

Question #3

I am deeply grateful for the guidance we find in paragraphs 6-7. They teach us how to better find happiness in our marriages and families. Read those paragraphs and consider the following question.

What is one instruction from these paragraphs that inspires you to do something different in your family? What will you do?

The answer to that question, of course, is going to be personal and vary from individual to individual. But allow me to share one of my favorite lines from those paragraphs. It’s:

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

There is so much to unpack in that phrase. Each one of those principles contains a secret to happy families. Are there any you need to work on?

Are our families established on the principle of faith?  Do we make matters of faith a priority within our homes? Do we speak of spiritual things frequently?  Are things like church attendance, scripture study, temple work, and obedience to the commandments a part of our family life?

Are our families established on the principle of prayer? Do we sincerely pray as a family and seek God’s help and blessing?

Are our families established on the principle of repentance? No individual or family is going to go through life without problems, temptations, or sins. That is to be expected. But do we do something about that? Do we seek to repent when we err?

Are our families established on the principle of forgiveness? Are we willing and ready to forgive our spouses, our brothers and sisters, our parents when their humanity and flaws become evident? Can we be like Joseph of Egypt who was able to forgive the deplorable actions of his brothers?

Are our families established on the principle of respect? Respect is defined as: “due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others.” Do we as husbands and wives treat our spouses with respect? Do we as parents treat our children with respect? Do we as children honor our mothers and our fathers with respect?

Are our families established on the principle of love? Remember that love is more than a feeling. It’s a verb. Do we express love for each other? Do we demonstrate that love through service, understanding, and the giving of our time?

Are our families established on the principle of compassion? Do we show our care and concern when family members struggle? Do we help them in times of challenge or difficulty?

Are our families established on the principle of work? Do we work hard together? Do we expect and allow each family member the dignity of doing their part and contributing to the effectiveness of the household? The family that works together, stays together.

On the other hand, are our families established on the principle of wholesome recreational activities? The family that plays together, stays together too. Do we take the time to laugh, and have fun, and go on vacations, and plan activities together?

All of these principles can and will contribute to a joyful and successful family life.

Well, I know that I’ve been inspired to make some changes as I studied the proclamation this week. It’s a document that I feel should be reviewed frequently to help keep our lives and family relationships on track.

CONCLUSION

To conclude, I want to express just how much I love being a dad. I love being a husband. There are challenges to both, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. My family is my greatest source of joy and purpose in my life. Remember that God’s plan is a plan of happiness and family plays a critical and fundamental role in fulfilling that plan and filling our lives with joy. You know, I suppose it could have been different. God could have just sent us to this earth to be tested without establishing family relationships. Maybe he could have just made us more like plants. You know, we could have just grown out of the ground and lived our lives as solitary individuals. But that’s not how he arranged things. Happiness is the object and design of our existence, and it is relationships that are key to creating that happiness. God has thoughtfully given us guidance on how to establish those kinds of relationships. These are the principles that will lead to happy individuals, happy families, and happy nations. Just as the proclamation urges: We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society. I believe in these principles and will proudly defend the proclamation to any that would seek to challenge it. It’s like a modern-day title of liberty that we can wave without shame to the world. We stand for family!

TEACHING ACTIVITIES

NOTE: The format for this week’s materials is going to be a little different this time. Normally, I’d give you three different themes or lesson plans that you could choose from to teach in a typical lesson time frame. Well, I don’t feel that the proclamation on the family lends itself as neatly to that approach. So instead, I’m just going to give you a large number of general ideas, activities, videos, and questions that you could choose from as you prepare your lessons for this week. Then, you can just assemble your lesson from the various elements that are presented according to what you feel will work best for your particular class. Pick and choose your activities and questions so that your lesson has good variety, opportunities for your students to share, and sincere moments where the Spirit can testify of the truths taught in the proclamation to the minds and hearts of your class.

LESSON #1 THE VIEW FROM THE WATCHTOWER (The family: a proclamation to the world)

TRUTH:

There are so many truths that are taught by the proclamation that it would be pointless to try to list them all here in one place. I mean, the entire document just presents truth after truth, doctrine after doctrine, with no commentary or story in between. It’s pure revelation. Pure truth expressed simply and straightforwardly. But if had to express the main thrust of the document, this is how I would put it: 

God’s plan of happiness is centered on the family, and the Proclamation teaches us how to live that plan in a confusing and unstable world.

FIRE IN THE BONES:

The fire in the bones for this lesson burns easily in my heart as I consider just how needed the messages that we find in the Proclamation are in our world. This document is exceptionally relevant to our times. We are constantly bombarded with messages about identity, relationships, and family that shift by the hour. We desperately need steady voices that can lovingly point us toward eternal truths. That’s what this lesson is all about. Our role isn’t to argue, it’s not to force these principles down their throats, or criticize those who disagree with us, but to testify of these doctrines with clarity, compassion, and confidence—showing them why these principles matter and how they bless real lives. When you teach the Proclamation, teach with a Spirit of joy and gratitude for the guidance and that stability it provides.

OBJECT:

A pair of binoculars. I like to use that as a good way of introducing this lesson. To me, the Proclamation on the family is one of the greatest examples of prophets acting as watchmen upon a tower.

ICEBREAKER #1:

As an icebreaker, you could pull out the binoculars and ask, “What are these for?” Yes, it’s an obvious question—they’ll say that binoculars help you see things far away with greater clarity and detail. Then ask, “What happens if you put someone on a high tower with a pair of binoculars?” Now they’re not only seeing clearly, but they’re also seeing from a higher perspective. They can notice things a person on the ground simply can’t, no matter how hard that person squints or tries. That image helps us understand why prophets in the scriptures are compared to watchmen on the tower—and why they’re called seers. They see dangers in the distance long before we do, and with that elevated perspective they offer warnings and guidance to help us prepare. This is exactly what the Family Proclamation represents. It was issued in 1995 under the direction of President Gordon B. Hinckley, and it stands as one of the clearest examples of prophets acting as watchmen. After showing the binoculars, you might ask your class: “How is the Family Proclamation an example of prophets acting as seers and watchmen?”

ICEBREAKER #2

Now that’s one possible icebreaker, another would be the one I suggested in the insight video focused on statistics related to issues that are addressed in the Proclamation. Allow your students to guess the correct answer. I’m also going to provide a handout version of the questions if you wish to cover them that way. Give your students some time to mark their answers and then you can go through and correct it together.

ICEBREAKER #3

Another possible icebreaker here. A game.  Charades. To play, you first divide your class into two teams. Choose one student from the first team and quietly show them a word from the Proclamation. Their job is to get their team to guess the word using only actions—no talking, no sound effects, and no pointing to objects in the room. They have 45 seconds to act it out.

If their team doesn’t guess the word within the time limit, then the opposing team gets one opportunity to “steal” the point by making a single guess based on the actions they observed. Whether the steal is successful or not, it then becomes the second team’s turn with a new word. Continue alternating turns for as long as you’d like and then, the team with the most points at the end wins. Here are some good act-out-able words you could possibly choose from categorized as either EASY, MEDIUM, HARD

EASY

Marriage

Parents

Home

Love

Happiness

MEDIUM

Forgiveness

Protect

Equal

Work

Strengthen

HARD

Repentance

Covenant

Premortal Life

Nurture

Provide

SEARCH ACTIVITY #1:

The crossword puzzle that I suggested in the insight video. It does a good job of picking out some of the major ideas and principles that are taught by the proclamation. The words that I selected for the crossword puzzle offer you a great opportunity to spark some discussion as to why those particular words were used. And whether you use the crossword puzzle or not, these are great questions to consider using in your lesson.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

How is it possible for fathers and mothers to be EQUAL partners even though they have different roles?

The Proclamation says children are ENTITLED to birth within marriage. What are the implications of using such a strong word here?

Why do you think God reserves the power of procreation only for those who are lawfully WEDDED? Why do you think that makes a difference?

How does knowing that family relationships can be PERPETUATED beyond the grave change the way we view marriage and family?

Why do you think the Lord calls the family ‘ORDAINED of God’? What makes it more than just a social structure?

The proclamation calls the family the FUNDAMENTAL unit of society. Why is family so foundational? What happens to societies when families weaken?

Then some more general questions that you could ask at the end of the activity:

Which of these principles do you feel the world struggles with most, and why?

Which one of these statements feels especially hopeful or comforting to you?

SEARCH ACTIVITY #2

Is the WILES OF THE DEVIL vs. STANDING STRONG game. To do this activity, first start by sharing the following quote from President Gordon B. Hinckley in the talk he gave when he first introduced the Proclamation to the Church. Tell your students that the title of that talk was, “Standing Strong against the Wiles of the World.” In that talk he said:

“With so much of sophistry that is passed off as truth, with so much of deception concerning standards and values, with so much of allurement and enticement to take on the slow stain of the world, we have felt to warn and forewarn. In furtherance of this we of the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles now issue a proclamation to the Church and to the world as a declaration and reaffirmation of standards, doctrines, and practices relative to the family which the prophets, seers, and revelators of this church have repeatedly stated throughout its history” (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 100).

Then, as a teacher, you divide your class into teams and tell them that you are going to put a “Wile of the World” up on the screen and their job is to find a “Standing Strong” phrase from the proclamation that defeats or counteracts that “Wile” and to raise their hand when they find it. The team that correctly identifies a countering phrase first wins the point and then, the team with the most points at the end wins. The slides associated with this lesson can help you to move your students through that activity. It also gives you a chance to ask some discussion questions as you go.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

To accompany this activity, here are some discussion questions you might want to ask as you go through the activity to help deepen your students’ understanding of the principles taught here.

What about this wile might seem appealing or convincing at first?

How could believing this wile affect someone’s life in the long run?

How does the principle in the Proclamation correct or protect against that idea?

SEARCH ACTIVITY #3:

If you’re not looking to teach this lesson through activities and would rather dive deeply into the content of the Proclamation itself, another solid approach is to address some of the major doctrines and their implications head-on. This gives your students space to ponder—and even wrestle with—statements that many in the world push back against. It can help them see why we believe what we do when so many others disagree or assume our views are intolerant. If you choose this route, just be mindful of your audience’s maturity level and make sure you feel prepared to answer questions and guide the discussion with understanding and sensitivity.   But for this idea, begin by sharing the following quote from Dallin H. Oaks:

“How should our youth respond when their associates and even their classroom teachers conclude that marriage is not important anymore, and that children suffer no disadvantage if their parents are not married?  Similarly, how should they respond to the familiar proposals to redefine the family?

I suggest that it may be preferable for our young people to refrain from arguing with their associates about such assertions or proposals.  They will often be better off to respond by identifying the worldly premises or assumptions in the assertions they face, and then by identifying the different assumptions or premises that guide the thinking of Latter-day Saints.  This won’t elicit agreement from persons who don’t share our faith, but it can move the discussion away from arguing over conclusions to identifying the real source of disagreement.”

(CES Evening with a General Authority devotional, February 8, 2013)

Then explain that that is what you’re going to try and do today. We’ll take some of the common views of the world and try to determine the premises and assumptions that lead to those conclusions and why our conclusions differ.  As latter-day saints, we look at these issues from an eternal perspective. We consider the entire plan of salvation, which leads us to very different ends. We don’t just believe in mortality. We believe that there was something that came before we were born, and that there is something to come after we die. We believe that we have a divine purpose on this earth. Looking at these issues with all of that in mind certainly leads us in different doctrinal directions.

Then, you take on any number of issues and walk your students through that exercise.  I give you some examples of this process in the insight video. Some of the issues I might consider addressing:

Casual attitudes regarding sex

Adultery

Abuse

Gay marriage

Transgenderism

Abortion

The Family Proclamation gives us clear direction and eternal perspective regarding these issues. Ask your students to consider why we feel the way we do about these topics based on our understanding of the Plan of Salvation.

SEARCH ACTIVITY #4

A final search activity you might want to try is the following handout that I refer to as Applying the Proclamation. This activity focuses much more on the bright side of the Proclamation on the Family. We don’t want to leave our students with the impression that the Proclamation is all about controversy. On the contrary, it’s a document of joy, guidance, revelation, and inspiration. If we believe and follow the counsels that are contained within it, it can help lead us to happiness and purpose in our family relationships. So, this study guide invites your students to consider how the doctrines of the proclamation bring them joy and comfort. To examine these ideas from a positive perspective. Have them fill out their answers to the three questions found there, then invite them to share their thoughts and feelings. I’m confident that that can lead to a very uplifting and meaningful class discussion.

VIDEO:

Now if you decide to show a video, there are A LOT  to choose from. There is an entire page of over 100 (no kidding) official Church videos related to family relationships and issues. Just goes to show how important family is to us as latter day Saints. I’ll put a link to that page in the video description, and you can peruse that gallery yourself for some ideas.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/collection/family-topic?lang=eng

But allow me to give you three suggestions that stand out to me. 

This one comes to mind first. It’s just called “Proclamation” and in it, M. Russell Ballard explains why the Family Proclamation is so important, especially in the latter days.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2011-07-0048-proclamation?lang=eng&alang=eng&collectionId=2e7db1c9d974a5d15ffe6dce023772c1be6d1e35

And a search question to ask your students before they watch: What blessings does Elder Ballard promise those who seek to live the principles of the Proclamation? 

A second suggestion which is a little bit longer of a video but does a good job of addressing the fact that families don’t all look the same is this one entitled “Home and Family.” It features a number of different families from all around the world and different types of family situations, such as single parents, and features them sharing different thoughts that pair well with the principles that are taught in the Proclamation.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2013-02-1050-home-and-family?lang=eng&alang=eng&collectionId=2e7db1c9d974a5d15ffe6dce023772c1be6d1e35

A general question that you might ask for this video would be: As you watch, look for one truth about families that feels especially important to you personally—and be ready to share why.

And finally, this last shorter one does an excellent job of setting the tone for a discussion about the importance of families. It’s called “What Matters Most” and features President Thomas S. Monson explaining why family is so important to members of the Church.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2009-09-0035-what-matters-most?lang=eng&alang=eng&collectionId=2e7db1c9d974a5d15ffe6dce023772c1be6d1e35

A question to ask for this video: Pay attention to what the video says about time, love, and priorities in family life. What stands out to you?

QUOTE:

Now for some possible quotes you may want to share. For one, you may remember that Dallin H. Oaks in his first general conference talk as President this past October, he focused his remarks on the importance of family.  At one point in that talk, he said:

“The Church of Jesus Christ is sometimes known as a family-centered church. It is! Our relationship to God and the purpose of our mortal life are explained in terms of the family. The gospel of Jesus Christ is the plan of our Heavenly Father for the benefit of His spirit children. We can truly say that the gospel plan was first taught to us in the council of an eternal family, it is implemented through our mortal families, and its intended destiny is to exalt the children of God in eternal families.”

(Conference Report Oct 2025, “The Family-Centered Gospel of Jesus Christ”)

And by the way, I highly encourage you to read that talk before you teach this lesson, and be prepared to share other thoughts, quotes, and counsels from it as you discuss the content of the proclamation on the family. It’s a perfect companion piece to the Proclamation and represents the most recent guidance we’ve received from the Prophet and President of the Church.

Another great quote is the following from M. Russell Ballard

“Let me say again that the family is the main target of evil’s attack and must therefore be the main point of our protection and defense. As I said once before, when you stop and think about it from a diabolically tactical point of view, fighting the family makes sense to Satan. When he wants to disrupt the work of the Lord, he doesn’t poison the worlds peanut butter supply, thus bringing the Church’s missionary system to its collective knees. He doesn’t send a plague of laryngitis to afflict the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. He doesn’t legislate against green Jell-O and casseroles. When evil wants to strike out and disrupt the essence of Gods work, it attacks the family. It does so by attempting to disregard the law of chastity, to confuse gender, to desensitize violence, to make crude and blasphemous language the norm, and to make immoral and deviant behavior seem like the rule rather than the exception.”

Elder M. Russell Ballard, Let Our Voices Be Heard, Ensign (CR), November 2003, p.16)

And finally, this from Elder Cristofferson:

“To declare the fundamental truths relative to marriage and family is not to overlook or diminish the sacrifices and successes of those for whom the ideal is not a present reality. … Everyone has gifts; everyone has talents; everyone can contribute to the unfolding of the divine plan in each generation. Much that is good, much that is essential—even sometimes all that is necessary for now—can be achieved in less-than-ideal circumstances. … With confidence we testify that the Atonement of Jesus Christ has anticipated and, in the end, will compensate all deprivation and loss for those who turn to Him. No one is predestined to receive less than all that the Father has for His children” (“Why Marriage, Why Family,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2015, 52).

TAKE IT TO HEART QUESTION:

Which part of the Proclamation helps you better understand God’s plan for you personally?

I WILL GO AND DO QUESTION:

What is one simple thing you could do this week to strengthen your current family relationships?

TAKEAWAY:

The takeaway slide reminds us of one of the most wonderful and faith affirming doctrines of the gospel. Families can be together forever. Take a moment at the conclusion of the lesson to express your personal testimony of the importance of nurturing family relationships and making them a priority in our lives. The world’s messages change constantly, but these truths that we find in the proclamation are steady and eternal. They’re worth trusting. So, lets wave this document as individuals and as a Church like a modern-day title of liberty, without shame and without excuse. These are truths worth standing strong for.